Be My Valentine: Strong and Proud.

This is dedicated to my mother Ria Tesselaar and Donna Fizzell, two wonderful, amazing women who are both understanding and compassionate and excellent role models.

Also, Happy Birthday Mum.

I want to start this off by saying that feminism is not a dirty word. By definition feminism is the principle advocating social, political and all other rights of women equal to those of men. That is the stripped down dictionary definition. This does not mean that feminism is the doctrine of women wanting to be of higher rank then men it also does not mean to take rights away from men. What it does mean simply is equality. For some reason female is seen as weak and women rallying together to take a stand is somehow a ploy to take from men.

It’s not.

Feminism is also for everyone. Because at its inner most core it’s all about equal rights for everyone. If you ask anyone I think they’d be behind equal rights but feminism has become such a dirty word that people don’t understand. Feminism is not fascism, it’s not a dictatorship. It’s people for the betterment of people.

Now, here’s where I’m going to slam some of my own perspective into you and I’m also going to pitch out some facts. Hold on to your hats, ladies and gentlemen, this lady got some talking to do.

I want to talk about my mother. My mother is a deeply understanding, kind-hearted person, who raised two very different children. The first born was my brother and after two miscarriages I arrived. My brother is seven years older than me and though I have never experienced a miscarriage the loss and sadness I feel for my mom and others is a very deep well. As it is I’m a bit of a miracle baby. My mom had to sit for the majority of her pregnancy as her uterus had fallen and not doing so could have resulted in my loss. It’s a story I’ve heard many times and even though times were extraordinarily tough I’m here. While my mom was in labour and probably for months and months before she kept on thinking I want it to be a boy, so my brother would have someone to play with.

I’m going to take a moment and say that at that time and during that era thinking that was logical. Boys play better with boys and girls play better with girls was the logic of the generation. It’s incredibly false but that’s how it was. My mom didn’t have the tiniest inkling in her head that I would be a girl.

Imagine her surprise.

Now, my Mom had someone who she could take on shopping outings and gab with and do all the things that Mom’s do with daughters that she never dared to dream of before. My brother also gained exactly what my mom wanted. It didn’t matter that I was a boy or a girl. I adored my brother and my brother taught me how to fight and I’m basically a smaller feminine version of him.

Here’s what I’m getting at, apart from the people who want to systematically generate their children, change up some chromosomes and even tinker with eye colour most people really don’t care. I mean if you wanted kids and thought about kids you probably had a preference growing up but when it comes down to it and you’re pregnant all you really want in the end is a healthy child. It doesn’t matter whether it’s a boy or a girl.

So, why does it matter if down the road a ways your child doesn’t feel right in their skin and is transgendered? Apart from whatever your child feels like they need to do, it doesn’t change them or who they are. All you really wanted was a healthy child and feeling wrong in one’s own skin can lead to exceptionally bad mental health that inevitably leads to poor physical health. That is still your child. In their very essence nothing has changed about them except their packaging and that should never matter. They haven’t become a different person. They’re just free and human and healthy and deep down that’s all you ever wanted.

You can’t generate someone and you can’t control them and things change along the way and that’s okay. That’s life and what makes it beautiful.

Don’t tell a girl that she’s only beautiful and don’t tell a boy that he’s too manly to cry and don’t tell a child how they should feel about themselves. Allow them the room to make mistakes and don’t punish them for it. Teach them that mistakes lead to great ideas, moments, and feelings. Mistakes don’t hinder you. They help you. Don’t discourage the dreams of the young just because you don’t know what’s possible.

Encourage children to dream and fall and get back up and smile and cry and try new things. Encourage their minds and their bodies and their hearts and their endless imagination. 

Now, what irks me deeply to a level you can’t possibly understand is this and I’m gonna lay some facts on you hardcore.

Until the 20th century pink was the colour for boys and blue was the colour for girls. Blue was considered paler and daintier of the two colours and pink was considered stronger. And here’s the big one, right up until the 15th century boys were called girls. All children were referred to as girls. Boy children were called knave girls and girl children were called gay girls. It wasn’t until much later that the term boy was labelled to a male child cause before it just meant a servant. The colours changed in the 1930’s when Hitler prosecuted both male and female homosexuals and the people who were deemed “curable” were sent to concentration camps with a pink triangle.

The entire pink is for girls and blue is for boys now is both a product of marketing and because of Hitler. In my artistic opinion denoting a colour to anyone is ridiculous.

Moving to early childhood, consent is a thing that needs to be respected. No most definitely means No and no amount of tantrums and tears should ever change that.

It’s a big issue today the whole idea of consent and I’m not going to say just for girls because it’s definitely a generalized issue for everyone with varying degrees all over the world and also where people have no autonomy at all. I can’t change the world. I can’t save it but I can change myself and I can write about it.

Consent should be the simplest thing to change but I guess you covet what you don’t have is still a big thing that happens. But if something does need to be taught it should be consent always and forever. Yes is yes, no is no, and maybe is maybe with no judgement on where that will lead. You’re allowed to be uncertain and you’re allowed to change your mind. You’re allowed to say no when you don’t want to do something as much as you’re allowed to say yes when you really do. You’re not allowed to pressure people into thinking there no actually means a yes in the long run. Or that a maybe always has to mean a yes. This is for anything. This isn’t just about sexual consent. This is personal on a level beyond that. If someone doesn’t want to drink or do drugs or drive or do a sport it’s up to that person and what they believe. You wouldn’t want someone pressuring you on your beliefs so why would you do it to others.

Consent and respect are the two biggest things to teach for the young and the old.

Education is a big one for change. It has improved a great deal from my grandparent’s days and my parent’s days. It’s still lacking a great deal.

Sex education for example is, for the most part, an absolute joke and people complain about it like it’ll corrupt their children into early acts of vulgarity. Sorry, no.

I think during my time in school I learned more about the male reproductive system then I learned about myself and what a woman’s body goes through. I mean you’re given some sheets of paper with the male and female reproductive system and you’re told to label it.

Yay, anatomy.

You’re then given a brief overview of insert slot A into slot B and bingo that’s intercourse but don’t forget the contraceptives and here’s the percent that they are effective. But let’s talk about wet dreams and morning wood. That was elementary school sex education. With a brief interlude into girls get periods in which their uterine lining detaches and you bleed once a month for a long, long while.

I remember before those classes began, I might have been, seven or eight; my Mom took me aside and told me about periods. She told me about when she got it. She thought she was going to die. For days and days she thought she was dying until she asked her mom and she said “that’ll happen to you every month.” She didn’t find out until maybe a year why it actually happens. But that was the times and people didn’t talk about it. My mom told me everything that was going to happen to me. How it would first show up, what it would possibly feel like and that it definitely didn’t mean I was going to die and why it happened. When I got mine in seventh grade I walked home for lunch and told my mom and she told me what to do and that was that.

But no one really tells you how you’ll feel because it’s different for every young woman and I think that should be addressed. There are a lot of medical issues that go along with your period so it should be talked about. Not getting one every month can be associated to stress and being underweight along with there being quite a few menstrual disorders such as PMS, PMDD, and AUB to name a few.

I, myself, if I wasn’t on birth control would bleed pretty continuously for the whole year. It started happening to me back in eighth grade. I was put on birth control early on in high school to stop it. What can I say I have a body that wants to expel blood? I had to get both nostrils cauterized for that reason. When I wasn’t on birth control I would also cramp up very bad and vomit from pain. In some countries you’re actually allowed one to two days each month for menstrual leave from work. Periods are that debilitating for some women.

That’s not even going into the price for feminine hygiene products like pads and tampons. For something that happens monthly and is just a part of biology women pay a silly amount on those products for most of their lives. Not to mention pads are very uncomfortable and tampons come with a lovely possibility of toxic shock syndrome. Look it up, it’s almost as horrifying as the warnings on cigarettes. There are other new methods like the diva cup that is a cheaper alternative and better for the environment.

Parents also shouldn’t be afraid to talk about sex. And I’m just picturing people cringing away from that remembering moments that you watched a sex scene in a movie with your parents in the same room. Sex can be daunting as is and talking about it honestly and freely takes away much of the initial nerves and fears. Virginity is such a widely varying word all over the world. It’s coveted; it’s hated, people want to keep it until marriage, some people want to do away with it as soon as possible. Talk about your first time. Say how it was. Say if you were really ready or not. If your child ends up being homosexual or pansexual or bisexual learn about it and still talk about your first time. Talk about love and romance and how you felt when it happened. If something went wrong, if it was awkward and there was more laughing then not, if you were raped.

Talk about it. Then mention how it is afterwards. It’s not taboo. Tell them the many ways to be safe. Give them as much knowledge as possible.

Tell them about pregnancy and diseases. They do that in school but go over it again. If the schools aren’t going to teach your children to be safe, go ahead and do it. It may be awkward but who cares.

Also, talk about pregnancy. For the love of god. All I got from school about pregnancy was you have sex, the sperm fertilizes the egg during ovulation, nine months later, baby, congratulations!

No one says what women go through afterwards. No one talks about after birth and the hemorrhagic bleeding that happens afterwards. No one talks about the aches and pains of going to the washroom for a while. No one talks about tearing and being uncomfortable with your own body and post partem depression. If you’re a school that does, gold stars.

I will gift you all the gold stars.

You know what, talk about prostate cancer as much as breast cancer. More men die from prostate cancer every year then women who die of breast cancer.

Just talk. That’s not to say my high school didn’t have a good sex education teacher because she was awesome but there’s always room for improvement.

They’re needs to be more history on women. Everybody needs some more female role models. I don’t even care if you keep to the country of origin. But every country has exceptional women and they need to be talked about. I took Greek and Roman ancient history in high school and though their pantheon is full of some badass ladies I would have loved to hear about Agnodice. She realized that a lot of women were dying during childbirth and at the time women in Athens weren’t allowed to be doctors so she studied in Alexandria and when she came back she pretended to be a man. She helped so many women that the male doctors were losing patients to her. So they accused her of seducing the women. When they brought her to court she lifted up her tunic and revealed herself. They then wanted to execute her for practicing medicine as a woman but all her patients came to court and they were forced to change the law and women were given the right to practice medicine.

I’m going to list a few more and you can read all about them on your own time. If I start writing about amazing women in history this is going to be a hundred page blog at least and no one has time for that in a blog. It’s going to be long enough as is.

Irena Sendler

Night Witches

Elizabeth Bathory (cause not all serial killers are men)

Ching Shih

Malala Yousafzai

Margaret Heafield

Rosa Louise McCauley Parks

Now, as you all should know by now I’m big into clothing and makeup which to be honest is predominately a male run market. With the majority of big named designers and owners being male. There is nothing wrong with this and the number of women gaining esteem is amazing. What I want to get into is dress codes and what people are saying about people’s appearances.

First and foremost I don’t ever want to read because boys can’t control themselves when they see a bra strap ever again. I don’t want to hear that wearing a crop top is dangerous and that she was too distracting in her leggings that she had to be sent home.

You’re being disingenuous to boys. Yes, they have dicks. It doesn’t control them. Last I heard there wasn’t a mind control device created to make men slavering beasts. 

Sure, some clothing choices can be poor choices. Skin coloured leggings are probably a no but let’s take a moment and look at today’s trends shall we. Shorts are getting shorter and pants are getting tighter and crop tops are getting croppier and it isn’t woman’s faults. And if a boys pants are riding below his butt that should be just as susceptible to the dress code as a too short skirt. It can’t go one way.

Out of a school zone and overlooking the business zone cause I get that suits are just as uncomfortable as pencil skirts and hose. You’re getting too hot and that skirts not staying where it’s supposed to. Fabric is a mess. But outside those two places. You can really wear whatever you want. You can choose to not wear whatever you want and no one is just asking for it. Ever. Be that a young woman wearing shorts (and in this day and age I can just say shorts because they are short shorts almost always) and a crop top, be that a man wearing a dress, be it a well-dressed man in a three piece suit, be it a teenager in a unicorn onesie, be it a big women in a dress. No one is asking for it and no one deserves to be harassed or commented on harshly. They deserve respect and the ability to be comfortable in their own skin always.

Women and men are allowed to wear makeup without comment of “I wonder what you look like naturally”. Or that it’s false advertising.

Sorry, no it’s not.

It’s how I and many others choose to express themselves and it has nothing to do with you, and how I look and what I decide to do with my body has zero to do with you at any point in time. If I want to sheer my hair off I will. (I did.) If I want to get piercings or a tattoo I will. (I haven’t.) If I want to dye my hair any colour in the rainbow I will (Also yes.) If I want to wear horns out I’m gonna. (Also, also, yes)

People are quirky and wonderful and different and the world would be so boring if we all conformed to one norm. Your normal is not my normal but I accept you and I respect you. I can respect someone who has their story marked on their skin be it in ink or wrinkles, stretch marks or scars. I can respect you if you’re big and wearing a crop top. You’re one hell of a women and I love that. I can definitely respect you if you’re a man who dresses as a woman cause you’ve taught me more about bravery and empowerment then most of my peers growing up. I’ll trust a drag queen over anyone else cause that’s a person who understands what it is to work. To really work.

The fact is that times change and cultures are different but if you take a step back and a breather it’s not that big a deal. We show more skin nowadays for the most part. Does that mean we’re always confident? Trends pop up and people follow them but at the same time you get to see photoshopped impossible men and women all over the place, as long as you’re healthy and your body isn’t at risk of being too thin or too big. You’re just fine. You’re incandescent. That body is yours and you may love it and treat it as you wish and no one gets a say about it but you.

It’s harder to deal with things now because of the internet and comments and people you don’t know judging you and fighting back just turns into marathon arguments of hate. I’m just gonna put this out there and say love your way through life. Be kind and show love. If someone doesn’t like a part of you, tell them how much you love it. Scream it from the rooftops. Look at yourself in the mirror and love yourself. You are more than others bad impressions. You are yourself. You are your own person and you are everything.

I don’t know how sexuality is taught nowadays. By the time I got to high school, it was heterosexual, and bisexual and homosexual and that was that. Full stop. Gender wasn’t even talked about and I remember saying at a party once that I don’t particularly feel like a woman or a man. Some days I felt more like a woman and some days I felt more like a man. Some of those girls never talked to me again after that.

Like I was some kind of alien.

I didn’t really delve back into it until my mid 20s when I started to really feel comfortable with myself. When I really stopped caring about what others thought. I don’t talk about it much. There are days when I wear plaid and jeans and feel like more masculine and there are days when I put on a wig and a dress and feel wonderfully feminine. I don’t think that makes me a bad or weird person. I think that makes me a deeply understanding person. One of my best friends who appear with me in these photos is Cleopatra Compton who is one hell of a drag queen and is one of the loves of my life. Cleo is family and that’s that. I’ve never judged someone for their sexuality and I’ve never judged someone for their gender.

Well… I may have said “Men…” with a shake of my head a few times.

But then again when you come upon history like this: When trains were introduced in the U.S many men believed that woman’s bodies were not designed to go at 50 miles an hour and that their uteruses would fly out of their bodies if they were accelerated to that speed.

You take a moment to shake your head.

Anyway back to the point. There are more sexualities now and more genders. But what it boils down to is that everybody is a person and everyone deserves respect. Everyone deserves to love who they want. They are not immoral or wrong in anyway. They deserve to love who they want because it shouldn’t be a privilege. It should be an absolute.

So love.

Love often and completely.

Love freely.

I laughed at the transgender bathroom issue. I laughed because when I moved to Vancouver a few years back I was in a bar and went to the bathroom and when I was done with my business and ready to wash my hands I walked out of the stall and a guy was washing his hands. I was surprised to see him, he was surprised to see me but we both nodded our heads said hi and washed our hands and left. He went out the left door and I went out the right. A lot of bars in Vancouver are like that and it doesn’t mean anyone is going to attack you. It means there’s a bathroom and everybody poops.

Here’s my number one, I will never be angrier than this concept, rape culture.

When I was in my first year of college I came upon this random article that was written in a paper and if I had been drinking at the time would have spit my tea all over it then ripped it apart, poured gasoline all over it and burned it to ash, swept that ash up and then proceeded to throw that ash into a vat of acid. I had never read something so heinous to give women suggestions on how to avoid rape. Don’t have long hair, and don’t wear skirts, and don’t drink, and herd yourself and your friends together like sheep. That was the some of the advice to females on how to avoid being raped.

No.

Just no.

Rape is not the fault or the victim and no one should be constantly thinking about rape as a thing that’s just going to happen to you. Rape is an assault on a person. It affects everyone. It doesn’t matter if you’re a man or a woman or whatever your sexuality may be. It’s an issue for everyone and is the lowest prosecuted crime because people are afraid of coming out about it or that nothing would happen to their attackers. It seems as of late that that is entirely founded and is something that needs to be changed immediately.

Rape is a violation and an attack on a person just as much as manslaughter and attempted murder. It is not a laughing matter and is an attack on a person. There is no she was asking for it, or he was drunk, or did you see what she was wearing.

No.

So, how do you protect yourself?

Be the most confident motherfucker in the room.

Be a fucking wolf.

Make self defense classes mandatory in high school. We had them at my school and it was a wonderful class. Take them anyway if that wasn’t an option.

Look people in the eye, stand tall, and always look like you know what you’re doing and where you’re going.

Rely on your gut and be smart. But I don’t ever want you to be afraid.

I don’t want to ever hear one of my friends say “I’m afraid to walk alone at night,” or “I’m afraid to go into this parking garage.” I don’t want to have to hear that ever again because that shouldn’t be a thing. I shouldn’t have to be told to be wary of this place or that place or what time of day because I go where the hell I want and everyone better back the fuck up because you don’t mess with this woman ever. I don’t want women or men or anyone to ever have to be afraid of other people or the possibilities that something bad might just happen. I don’t want people to feel like sheep.

You’re not a sheep.

You’re a fucking wolf.

And one last thing:

Bitch, diva, pussy. Not bad things.

Being seen as a bitch or a diva tends to mean for most people that you’re emotional, sometimes associated with that time of the month.

Being a pussy seems to now mean that you’re a weak ass little boy and why can’t you be a man.

No, sorry.

Being a bitch or a badass bitch means I’m a confident woman who says what I want when I want. Being a bitch means I have a voice and in most countries there’s this thing called freedom of speech. You don’t have the right to shush me or suggest that I’m moody because I’m bleeding. I want to be heard. I have the right to be heard and being a bitch isn’t a bad word.

Being a diva means what that I’m emotional? That I have feelings? Correct. I do. And sometimes they get the best of me and I need to tell some people. I’m not overly dramatic. I’m not looking for attention. I’m emotional and I’d like some help with a problem. If you’re too repressed to understand that, you’re not who I thought you were.

Being a pussy means that you have one. It is generally attached to your person. It is part of the anatomy. It is not weak in anyway. Hell it bleeds more than a dick ever will. It’s strong and versatile and as Betty White likes to say ‘they certainly can take a pounding.’

What I want you to take away from this if anything. Is that you’re not weak. You have a voice. You’re fierce and independent and you most certainly always matter.

So, be kind to each other. Stick together. Rally and respect.

After all, we’re all fucking wolves.

Disgaea: Etna & Flonne

Etna Look

Products Used:

Foundation: Urban Decay Naked Skin 1.0 mixed with Make Up Forever Water Blend R210.

Contour: Morphe Brushes 9BZ Palette.

Blush: Morphe Blush 9B Palette.

Highlight: MAC Mineralize Skinfinish in Lightscapade.

Eyes: YSL Couture Variation Eye Shadow Palette 2 - Tuxedo.

Lashes: Too Faced Better Than Sex Mascara.

Brows: Stila in the know Eye Shadow Palette in rain.

Lips: Trust Fund Beauty in K, Bye and Method To The Madness and Make Up Forever Glitters #14

Wig: I can't remember!

Clothing:

Necklace: Everlay

Special thanks to https://hunterandhare.com/

Flonne Look

Products Used:

Foundation: Urban Decay Naked Skin 1.0 mixed with Make Up Forever Water Blend R210.

Contour: Morphe Brushes 9BZ Palette.

Blush: Morphe Blush 9B Palette.

Highlight: MAC Mineralize Skinfinish in Lightscapade.

Eyes:  Morphe Brushes Eye shadow Palette 35E.

Lashes: Too Faced Better Than Sex Mascara.

Brows: Stila in the know Eye Shadow Palette in rain.

Lips: Trust Fund Beauty in K, Bye and Method To The Madness.

Wig: Powderroomd

Contacts: Blue Angelic Vision Direct

Clothing:

Necklace: Lover's Tempo

Special thanks to https://hunterandhare.com/

Resident Evil: Alice & Jill

Alice Look

Products Used:

Foundation: Urban Decay Naked Skin 1.0 mixed with Make Up Forever Water Blend R210.

Contour: Morphe Brushes 9BZ Palette.

Blush: Morphe Blush 9B Palette.

Highlight: MAC Mineralize Skinfinish in Lightscapade.

Eyes:  Stila in the know Eye Shadow Palette in driftwood, rain, desert, and air.

Lashes: Too Faced Better Than Sex Mascara.

Brows: Stila in the know Eye Shadow Palette in rain.

Lips: Jeffree Star Velour Liquid Lipstick in Androgyny.

Dirt: Cinema Secrets Movie Dirt in brown.

Wig: Studio f/x

Clothing:

Jacket: BBC Doctor Who

Garter Holster: Skingraft

Backpack: Hibou

Plaid Shirt: Roots

Tank Top: Majestic Paris

Scarf: Hunter & Hare (30% off at the moment!)

Special thanks to https://hunterandhare.com/

Jill Valentine Look

Products Used:

Foundation: Urban Decay Naked Skin 1.0 mixed with Make Up Forever Water Blend R210.

Contour: Morphe Brushes 9BZ Palette.

Blush: Morphe Blush 9B Palette.

Highlight: MAC Mineralize Skinfinish in Lightscapade.

Eyes: Morphe Brushes Eye shadow Palette 35E.

Lashes: Too Faced Better Than Sex Mascara.

Brows: Stila in the know Eye Shadow Palette in rain.

Lips: Jeffree Star Velour Liquid Lipstick in Doll Parts.

Wig: Powderroomd.

Clothing:

Blackmilk Clothing Catsuit

Jacket: Pimkie Collection

And a special thank you to https://hunterandhare.com/

Underworld: Selene & Erika

Selene Look

Products Used:

Foundation: Urban Decay Naked Skin 1.0 mixed with Make Up Forever Water Blend R210 and MAC Face and Body Foundation White.

Contour: Morphe Brushes 9BZ Palette.

Blush: Morphe Blush 9B Palette.

Highlight: MAC Mineralize Skinfinish in Lightscapade.

Eyes:  Stila in the know Eye Shadow Palette in ebony and wind and Morphe Brushes Eye shadow Palette 35E.

Lashes: Too Faced Better Than Sex Mascara.

Brows: Stila in the know Eye Shadow Palette in earth.

Lips: Jeffree Star Velour Liquid Lipstick in Unicorn Blood.

Blood: K.D. 151 Dark Mouth Blood Syrup

Fangs: Scarecrow Custom Fangs.

Contacts: Vision Direct Blue Angelic Lenses.

Clothing:

Blackmilk Clothing Catsuit

Marciano Faux Fur Scarf

And a special thank you to https://hunterandhare.com/

Erika Look

Products Used:

Foundation: Urban Decay Naked Skin 1.0 mixed with Make Up Forever Water Blend R210 and MAC Face and Body Foundation White.

Contour: Morphe Brushes 9BZ Palette.

Blush: Morphe Blush 9B Palette.

Highlight: MAC Mineralize Skinfinish in Lightscapade.

Eyes: Morphe Brushes Eye shadow Palette 35E.

Lashes: Too Faced Better Than Sex Mascara.

Brows: Stila in the know Eye Shadow Palette in rain.

Lips: Lime Crime Velvetines in Blondie.

Blood: K.D. 151 Dark Mouth Blood Syrup

Fangs: Scarecrow Custom Fangs.

Wig: Studio F/X http://www.studiofx.ca/

Clothing:

Marciano Lace Dress

Red Crushed Velvet Cape

Earrings: Lovers Tempo http://www.loverstempo.com/

Necklace: She's So https://www.instagram.com/shesso/

And a special thank you to https://hunterandhare.com/

Lastly, for this year the blog is mostly going to be photo based while I put together my book and illustration projects. So, enjoy a year of fun visuals!

Kubo and the Two Strings: Monkey

I think today's look can be short and sweet. Even though it took me the better part of a day to curl and cut all that paper that I glued to my face.

I wanna make it a shorter post because the movie was just too beautiful and inspiring to focus on just one character. It invoked some strong artistic feelings in me and most of my efforts are going to go into the second look for Kubo and the Two Strings. Now you're probably thinking it already took you so long to do one look, what in the blazes are you contemplating for the second?

Well, gentle viewer, something entirely time consuming, hopefully stunning, and most definitely a possible avenue towards my defeat at the hands of paper.

"Your magic is growing stronger. You need to learn control. But when we grow stronger the world grows more dangerous." - Monkey

I had to do the monkey look as soon as I saw the movie. Not just because she's voiced by Charlize Theron who is my spirit animal. I really just wanted to do all that fur with paper. Paper is a huge artistic element of the film and it really got my idea mill churning.

On a side note, gluing paper to your face is one of the most uncomfortable things I've ever done and trust me when I say a lot of makeup has been put on me. All over. This of course includes many airbrushes, a slew of prosthetics, and the fairly numerous times I've been blinded with contacts. Paper has done me in. Good thing it's only one more look.

Getting the ape look is all about shaping and posing in this case. It was easy to do with the paper as a guide. Then all it took was some well placed chiaroscuro and wham-bam it's a monkey. Even though it was an uncomfortable makeup I really enjoyed the process.

"Don't mess with the Monkey!" - Monkey

Products Used:

Fur: Two sheets of paper. Ribbon curled and cut to look like fur.

Face: Make Up Forever Flash Palette Coral and Fuchsia.

Highlight: Limecrime Alchemy Palette in Spellbound.

Contour: Limecrime Chinadoll Palette in Lotus Noir

That's literally everything. So, stay tuned for all the paper art on the way.

Invisible Illness: A love letter to my body

I’m not much of a talker. I’ve never been much of one. The more I love and trust a person the less I’ll tell them. Some things are mine to deal with and sometimes I don’t want to hurt people. I know that that’s not always how it works but I also don’t like being emotional. I’m very emotional. I just hide it behind a porcelain smiling mask. It’s brittle and thin but I appreciate it. I’ve always been a listener and I know I keep a lot more to myself then I probably should. The only people who know I have an illness are family, a few friends, and some teachers who it was prudent to tell when I needed time off. If you knew about it, it means you land in those categories or I had to tell you because I felt bad that day or I trust you implicitly. The truth of the matter is I don’t think I’ve honestly went about going over it completely not even once. To anyone. I’m a little sorry about that. I want to do it now because it’s been a particularly bad month and it’s about time I think.

So a bit of a back ground story for those just tuning in. Back in high school, so eleven or twelve years ago I came down with a pretty bad ear infection that spread to an eye infection that spread to a throat, lung, kidney, blah blah blah infection that lasted a few months. It was a week before Christmas. I had a big project for history class that I was doing on Greek mythology and my brother brought me home an energy drink from work (my first one!) so I could finish the project. I remember going to class that day to hand it in but I felt off. Suffice to say I didn’t go back to classes for the following few days. On Christmas eve, after we had our celebrations I went to emergency because I could barely open my right eye? Left eye? The pictures are hilarious because I’m so happy but I look miserable. My mum hates them but I love them (sorry mum) because I love Christmas and being with family no matter what’s up with me. So those few months were the start of this journey. I never did get better after that.

The thing about invisible illnesses is that not a lot of people believe. You lose a lot of people. That’s one of the things no one really talks about. People give up on you when you’re sick a lot. The fact is I can understand it. It doesn’t really stop it from hurting though when it happens.  Thankfully, I have the most remarkable family that knew that there was something wrong even the days when I didn’t even believe in it. The thing is that when doctors tell you for years and years that they can’t find anything and maybe it’s just stress part of you that believes them and then there’s this little voice that goes “but..?” I lived for ten years with an undiagnosed illness. I mean they labelled me with everything under the sun, some ridiculous like pregnancy and PTSD. Some that gave me a little more hope but turned out to still be wrong. Figures I’d have a few things wrong with me and that’s okay. I can manage.

Why am I calling it a love letter you might ask? There’s enough hate going around in the world and I’m not going to go about hating any part of myself. I can get angry sometimes at how I feel but this is about owning every part of me. The good and the bad. I love myself and this is my permission and consent to finally be okay with it all.

Dear body,

Let’s start off with you head.

You’ve been good to me. You’re incredibly bright and your memory is impeccable. Though you sometimes dream so vividly that you believe events have transpired that never existed. I do appreciate the extra episodes of Game of Thrones you conjured. I’m sad to never see them again. And that episode of Buffy that never happened which I spent years searching for. And then got freaked out when the room that was in that episode that you made up appeared in Angel years later. You freak. Thank you for the recurring dreams that are sometimes spread years apart. Some are surprises all over again. Thanks for the dreams in other languages and the ones that are a little prophetic. I like the advanced warning.  I’m happy you’re ambitious but I’d be grateful if you took it back a notch so my body could keep up. I think I’m twenty years behind you right now. Just cool you’re jets, bro.

Thanks for building worlds that are so beautiful they make me weep. Thanks for making up characters that are strong despite tragedy. They’re all a little piece of you. There are 180+ characters that contain just a bit of your personality and you’re not nearly done yet.  Thanks for the stories that put me to sleep. I know I’d be a hundred times worse if I didn’t have those. I’m sorry for the days your frightened to leave the house because you’re so close to fainting. It’s almost happened so many times. You’ve been so lucky. You know what it’s like to see only black for minutes at a time. You also know what it’s like to see only white for a few hours. I think you’re really brave for not being scared when that happens. You’re really patient. Thank you so much for being the patience and the eternal calm. You’re an island.

It’s okay that you’re not a talker. You’d have trouble seeing if you weren’t always listening. Thanks most of all for deciding in elementary school that the most important thing in the world was to keep an open perspective. It’s made you so kind. Except sometimes to yourself. It’s okay that sometimes you ache so bad that your vision goes black for minutes at a time and you’re fuzzy for hours afterwards. I like to think of it as a reboot for all that constant processing. It’s okay that your vision is shit. You get really cool contacts to wear. And your glasses are pretty stellar as well. And no one has got it right yet on why you bought them. No they aren’t Harry Potter or John Lennon glasses. They’re Jensen glasses. Disco.

It’s okay that your skin breaks out. It’s annoying but it lets me know when things are wrong. It’s okay when your jaw does off track. Slow down. You’re talking way too fast and you know what chocolate does to your skin anyway. You don’t even like it what are you doing. Put it down.  It’s not okay that the dentist gave you nerve damage years ago after they gave you a terrible viral infection. I feel like the joker sometimes with the scars on the inside of my mouth.  It’s cool when your ears buzz. You just got up. Give it a few minutes. Think of it that you’re so tall that the air pressure is so different way up here. Ears gotta pop.

You’re allowed to talk about feelings. It’s okay if you cry in front of people even if you’re allergic to your own tears. That’s nifty isn’t it? Plus, huge conversation starter. No one will believe you until it happens. Mostly, thanks for always smiling even when you don’t mean it and thanks for always staying positive. I would’ve stopped years ago if it wasn’t for you. I love you for keeping me afloat through the years. There was a breaking point years ago and you lifted me above it. I think you’re unbreakable even though I’ve wacked you and concussed you enough times. You’ve always pulled through.

A huge encore to my upper body.

 First off, thank you for the double jointed thumbs. The number of people you’ve creeped out is truly a joy. Thanks for bringing forth the art in my head. Sometimes you’re not perfect but you’ve drawn enough faces to see everything you can’t say on paper. It’s okay that you’re not always strong. You’re also stronger than you believe and you have a capacity to be so much stronger. I’m sorry that that doesn’t always last. It fails pretty spectacularly sometimes but you can always pick yourself up. Sometimes you may falter and it may take a while but you always get up. Sometimes you need help because your left side is pretty broken and doesn’t work. It hurts a lot to pick things up and it hurts more to put on shirts. Sometimes you can’t leave the house cause you can’t put on clothes that day. That’s okay. It wasn’t your day. Your arms don’t work some days and that’s okay. You’re lucky to have another person who can be your arms when he’s around. When he’s not around your lucky to be resourceful. You’ve got legs and a head when those fail. Your neck is pretty stellar. Thanks for being reliable when everything is falling apart. Thumbs up neck.

Thanks to my ribs for trying. You’ve done great until this year. You’ve started to want to migrate to areas where you don’t belong. Trust me sometimes I want to vacation from everything but you’re pretty stuck to each other. I can really feel it when you guys stray. At least, please refrain from doing both sides at the same time. That’s all I ask. You’re really tender sometimes. Sometimes I worry you’re going to cave in if someone hugs me too tight. I believe in you though. Maybe you’re just deceptive. Thanks for guarding my innards though. Nothing’s ever gotten through you. Thank you heart for beating. Your key function has been met. Thank you for always letting me know when something’s wrong. Over the last year you might have gotten a bit too overzealous and you can slow to a reasonable rate anytime. It’s starting to be its own problem now. You’ve certainly worried the ultrasound technicians. They think I can’t relax. My upper body makes people think I’m not relaxed. And maybe I haven’t been able to in years. Maybe I’ve just been waiting for the next thing. On that note though, thanks stomach muscles for keeping me upright. Apparently, if you weren’t so tense I’d never be able to get up. You’re surprisingly adept at always keeping me going. Sometimes you hurt me with how tense you are and I feel it for days when I use you too much. And sometimes I can’t move much for days when I stand for too long. But I can trust you to always get me up. Maybe not far some days but always up.

Thanks you stomach for breaking down foods. Apparently you ferment a lot. Which is cool as a base concept like making alcohol but you’ve left me with fruits and vegetables as my primary food source. You’re sensitive to everything else. Or have rebelled highly. Also, you might want to cool it on making foods completely inedible. Or maybe I should be blaming the tongue? I can hardly eat anything as it is. I’d at least like to enjoy what I can. Thanks for allowing me some cheat days and only yelling at me with loud growls. I can’t thank you for the nausea and vomiting. Sorry, that’s on you. The cramping is also not appreciated and really what’s with that one spot that always hurts? I know it’s not in my stomach but I always call it my stomach. My bad. I give you such a bad rap but you’re not a bad guy. Sorry. It’s the intestines. I know it’s them but no one likes talking about them. But in this case intestines what’s up with that one spot? Cut it out. Also, good job on everything else. Kidneys? Your good. Just the infections? Stop. Everything else. Job well done. Gold stars. You falter sometimes but you’re always working. Mostly thanks for getting me up. Thanks for knowing when situations weren’t “right” and keeping me away from them. This might be weird but thanks for keeping me home so much sometimes. You showed me the people who would leave if you weren’t always there.  Also, I’m sorry for the same reason. There’s a millions things you want to do and a million more invitations you wish you could accept. It’s always great to feel what it’s like on a good day when you can say yes and the people who have stayed and their smile at seeing you.

To my lovely lady bits and other unmentionables.

Is this too personal? Maybe. But I'm gonna say it anyway. I almost don’t want to write about you in public. I’m very sorry that that’s something society has instilled in me. To be weary of talking about you. So, I’m gonna do it anyway. Thanks for being mostly normal. You had a rough start. You bled for almost a whole year there. That’s probably a medical anomaly but the nose did that first and we burned that bastard into submission after that dream we had about the war of 1812. The amount of blood from my nose traumatized my father.

We figured out which pill worked for my periods. Thank you for discovering the Diva Cup. Periods would be much worse if you had to deal with pads and tampons. It also makes girls really uncomfortable when they ask if they can borrow something and you say you don’t use that stuff. Also side note, why do we say borrow? I don’t want it back! It’s why I always got into the habit of saying steal. Though that got me into trouble at the grocery store once… Anywho. Thanks for regulating. You never made me emotional or weird. That’s something I pride myself in. Thanks for not cramping up so bad or being a horror story. Except for that one year. I bet woman would cringe at bleeding almost constantly for one year. So, a bit of a horror story. I’m sorry for switching pills recently to see if it would stop my headaches. It didn’t and I have no idea where my periods went. To the other side. Thanks for never being constipated. Except after flights and long events where my body seems to cease all functions. I would be happy with far less diarrhea. But I’ll take it over vomiting to be honest and we’ve switched it up these past few years. So yay, I got my wish! Thanks for the most part for the not frequent urination. You’re a lifesaver. All in all, well done.

To the legs and my support system.

Thank you for always taking me where I need to go. My hips give out and sometimes my knees but you always go back. Even when you shake you take me far. And sometimes you need a break and you get to rest with the rest of me. Sometimes the muscles ache and I kinda like it. It means you got me places.

Overall, I’m really proud of you for holding it together. These years have been hard and I mostly feel useless but I’m one with this illness and I won’t let it control me one hundred percent. I’m learning to get around it and to accept what is possible. The one thing that hurts is when people expect more of you then you can give. I don’t think people know or understand how much this affects me. It’s not a life threatening disease but its life altering. Most days I don’t get out of my house.  If you suffer from an invisible illness don’t let anyone dictate how you should feel. You can let things and people motivate you. If you can’t keep up keep your own pace. If it changes your life find a way around it. Do what you can do and don’t let it get you down. Own it and own up to it. Most of all don’t let someone say there’s nothing wrong with you when you know there’s something not right. Whether it be depression, or anxiety, or ehlers danlos, or anything invisible. To others don’t presume to know what someone is going through. Every case is unique and every body is different.

I have hyper mobility syndrome. If affects me both outwardly and internally. I found out what it was just last year. That’s eleven years of my family sticking by me. Pushing myself through schools and somehow graduating all of them. I’ve had to adapt around my illness. I do a blog now to showcase what I went to school for. Sometimes its all I can do. Soon I’ll be starting a business of my art and sculptures. Unfortunately, having a normal job is pretty impossible. I’m still figuring out my ups and downs and what will work. I’ll get there.

I’m still missing things I know. But this is my gist-list. You get the idea. More so then you did anyway…

Finally:

Dear me,

I love you. I’m proud of you. You’re not all you thought you could be and your brain gets way ahead of you but you get up every day. And you smile at every one. You’re kind and calm and patient and compassionate. You’re brave but you can be braver. You can forgive yourself for the things you haven’t accomplished. You have time to start all the things you want. Take your time. Be bold. Everything will be alright.

Most of all.

Just breathe.

In.

Out.

One moment at a time.

Every moment a new beginning.

You got this.

Products Used:

Primer: Make Up Forever Skin Equalizer Smoothing Primer.

Foundation: Kat Von D lock-it foundation in Light 44.

Contour: Morphe Brushes 9BZ Palette.

Blush: Morphe Blush Palette 9B.

Eyes:  Stila in the know Eye Shadow Palette in wind.

Tears: Glycerin and Make Up Forever Metal Powder 94006.

Liner: Doucce Cosmetics Ultra Precision Eye Liner 500.

Lashes: Make Up Forever Smoky Lash.

Brows: MAC Lash Mixing Medium.

Lips: Too Faced Lip Injection Extreme mixed with Giorgio Armani Lip Maestro503.

Blood: Cinema Secrets FX Blood

Suicide Squad: Killer Croc

I don't have much to say for this one other than after watching the movie I kinda loved the big weirdo. I'm always happy for a challenge. And oh dear lord, this was nothing but a challenge. I think I stared at that bald cap for days. Mostly, thinking 'do you really want to do this to yourself again?' Apparently yes, yes I did.

I have to admit I don't have much background knowledge on Killer Croc. I know, shocking. I've always loved the design for The Joker's Asylum: Killer Croc and the New 52 is pretty decent. But I'm in absolute love of a huge crocodile wearing a three-piece suit. He's startling adorable in Suicide Squad but there's something notably more dangerous in the Joker's Asylum Killer Croc that just gets to me on a whole different level.

This was one of those looks where everything that could go wrong did go wrong but I powered through it like a champ. I wasn't gonna waste a perfectly awesome bald cap for nothing after all. I knew things were going to hell in a hand basket after the bald cap application. So I kept most of the makeup to my head and neck and didn't bother covering all of me. The clean up was terrible without the added scalification. 

" So, is this the part where you try and reason with me? Figure out why I did it, DOC?" - Killer Croc

It became a hot mess when I decided to do the shoot in the bathtub. I always want to remind people to be a little cautious around spfx makeups and out of kit effects. In this case putting on your own bald cap might have been a big problem. Instead there was a truly heinous amount of giggling. As I did this myself and even the back this time I couldn't see if all the seams were perfect. Or that the air in the bald cap would be full of so much hot air. So my idea to sink below the water was an act in futility. I did manage and the sounds were hilarious as water filled up the bald cap to allow me to sink. 

So, if you see the ripples happening in that bald cap. That's water. It was perfect beforehand but I will happily admit I wanted under the water more than I wanted a perfect bald cap. All the paints and colours used were alcohol based so they stayed right where I put them apart from a little wear and tear.

All in all an absolute disaster but I'm really glad I powered through. Also, no contacts this time just photoshop. I really want these contacts though. They are badass. 9mmsfx used to have caiman contacts and they were my favourite thing ever. Maybe one day I can ask for a special order because they were a wonderful dream.

"Yeah, I hear you, bitch. So when's dinner? I'm hungry. " - Killer Croc

Products Used:

Bald cap: Latex.

Powder: RCMA No-Colour Powder.

Adhesive: Prosaide and a 50/50 99% alcohol spirit gum mix.

Brows: Prosaide cream with a latex stipple.

Face Colour: Kryolan alcohol palettes.

Added colour effects: Doucce Cosmetics Ultra Precision Eye Liner 500.

"It would have gone down smooth if you hadn't butted in. But hey, I'm adaptable. When you grow up looking like I do, you gotta learn to go with the flow." - Killer Croc

On the docket for next week is something truly personal to me. So, stay tuned for the written journey of my person. It'll be a bumpy ride.

Suicide Squad: Harley Quinn

I always loved Harley Quinn. She's ten pounds of crazy in a five pound bag. I always loved the women of DC though. That doesn't mean that I didn't occasionally dream of being Batman. Most people occasionally want to be Batman. I've watched all of the Batman films to see Catwoman and Poison Ivy. Even if the movies were absolute garbage the women were so worth it.

I'm more of a Marvel fanatic but I do love the way that DC does some of its characters. You don't really notice the intricacies growing up. Most of the time I didn't notice that i was watching a rated R movie with my brother. The swearing went over my head. I was just interested when cool creatures were running around and people were jumping out of planes. So, as a child when you see Harley and the Joker you see two people who are always together and laugh a lot. It generally seems like a good time.

"I'm known for being quite vexing, I'm just forewarning you..." - Harley Quinn

It might be why a lot of kids are afraid of clowns or was that just a common thing? Like your born with a fear of clowns? I bypassed that one somehow. I think cause my grandma had these beautiful clown masks in her apartment. The artistry of them kinda overruled all inherent fear of the thing. Clowns are gorgeous.

Growing up you start to see the dysfunction in relationships. Or at least I hope you do? The Joker and Harley aren't exactly the epitome of healthy. It's full on abusive and it was for a very long while and will probably continue to be occasionally but they've given Harley the opportunities to branch out and be her badass self all on her own.

And she's extraordinary.

" Gonna come in here and tell me that? Or are you too scared? Come on, I'm bored. I'm bored. Play with me!" - Harley Quinn

She's strong, obviously crazy, and she's wonderfully more independent. Finally, out of the Jokers constant shadow we can see who she's become and she's fearless and powerful. She's an absolute wonder. I miss the days where she was a crazy jester and her clothes have practically disappeared. But everyone needs to rock sparkly booty shorts sometimes.

Suicide Squad has a bunch of holes but I'll let it go because it was visually captivating. Margot Robbie and Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje stole the show for me as Harley Quinn and Killer Croc respectively. Killer Croc for being visually wonderful and having my favourite line in the whole film. It's also my favourite role so far for Margot Robbie. Since she loves the character so much maybe we'll get a DC female film. I will be most pleased.

"Hello, Mr. J. I'm Batman! Eat me! Eat me! Eat me!" - Harley Quinn

I decided to change up the look for Harley slightly. I used my own hair and switched the makeup to pink and blue. The makeup for the film was quite inspiring so I've been having a good time. Also, the apple is there because I have a lot of fruit and I thought it was hilarious. Also demolishing it with a scalpel was wonderfully therapeutic.

Products Used:

Primer: Make Up Forever Skin Equalizer Smoothing Primer.

Foundation: Kat Von D lock-it foundation in Light 44 mixed with MAC Face and Body Foundation in White.

Contour: Stila in the know palette in smoke and ebony.

Diamond: Kat Von D Liquid Eye Liner in Nerdrum.

Blush: Morphe Blush Palette 9B.

Eyes:  Urban Decay Alice in Wonderland Through the Looking Glass Eyeshadow Palette in Cake and Looking Glass and Naked Cosmetics TW-03.

Liner: Doucce Cosmetics Ultra Precision Eye Liner 500.

Lashes: Make Up Forever Smoky Lash and Red Cherry Lashes #102 Chakra.

Brows: Stila in the know Eye Shadow Palette in Earth.

Lips: Jeffree Star in Abused, Blue Velvet, and Jawbreaker with Make Up Forever Star Powder 90944.

"Oh, come on, Puddin'! Don't you wanna rev up your "Harley"? Vroom vroom!" - Harley Quinn

Star Trek Beyond: Jaylah

First off, sorry for the delay. My little Bobsweep vacuum cleaner totaled my lighting set up. Broke my precious lights. I'll make up for it this week. You'll get a lot of fun stuff! Promise! Secondly, thanks to everyone whose actually reading my little stories. To be honest I just thought it'd be my mum and I'd sit back and call her afterward and we could reminisce or learn something new about each other. So, thank you for reading! Remember if there is anything you want to see, be it character, show, movie, video game, etc, etc... Please let me know at artistry@nicoletessela.com. I'd be thrilled. Even if it's just with questions about looks. I'm here for you. I'm not traditional in my approach to looks and ideas so hit me up.

That being said. Star Trek.

I was a comic and cartoon kid growing up with the added bonus of being shown Star Wars, Jaws, Point Break, and Alien at a terrifically young age. Star Trek wasn't actually something I got into until the rebooted movies came out. It was around this time where I found out that my dad was a pretty big Star Trek fan and that's when it meant a lot more to me. Sadly, my dad is the only one of the family who can't position his hands correctly for Live Long and Prosper. He'll never live it down. Good on you Popsicle and your hilarious sausage fingers.

Apart from Doctor Who and Star Wars I think Star Trek merchandise is third in abundance in my apartment. See, when I find something out about my dad I need to immerse myself with it and for it to become a part of me. I have this wonderful, tightly-knit family, but my dad keeps things pretty close to the chest. So, whenever I hear something new I take that shit seriously.

So, Star Trek Beyond. It was filmed here in Vancouver. I know quite a few people who worked on it be it makeup or PA or actors and extras. I remember when the trailer came out I was immediately captivated by Jaylah. Thank you, Sofia Boutella for bringing this wonderfully, badass woman to life. You made the movie for me. I'd have to say it was the most intriguing makeup I've seen in awhile. I had a fun time being inspired by Jaylah. I made it a bit more gritty cause I like making things a bit rough. I like showing looks a bit lived in.

The movie itself runs like a really long episode. They did a lovely tribute to Leonard Nimoy and it was devastating to recall the tragedy that befell Anton Yelchin. You'll both live on in film. You'll make us laugh and you'll make us cry. I'll be doing both with you for years to come. I'll never forget Bilbo Baggins or Charlie Bartlett. I quote and sing them regularly. That being said, was anyone thinking way to much about Mass Effect for this movie. Like Mass Effect 2? Cause that was the majority of the film for me. I didn't mind cause Mass Effect is my jam it was just a little shocking.

Products Used:

Primer: Make Up Forever Skin Equalizer Smoothing Primer.

Foundation: Ben Nye MagiCake Aqua Paintin LA-1 Cloud White and MAC Face and Body Foundation in White.

Contour: Stila in the know palette in smoke and ebony.

Facial Markings: Make Up Forever Aqua Black.

Eyes:  Stila in the know palette in smoke and ebony.

Liner: Doucce Cosmetics Ultra Precision Eye Liner 500.

Lashes: Make Up Forever Smoky Lash.

Brows: MAC Lash Mixing Medium covered with Pros-Aide Cream Adhesive and Bondo.

Lips: City Color City Chic in Je t'aime.

Stay tuned for Suicide Squad next week!

IMATS Vancouver 2016: The Demon and the Unicorn

I admit to being a weirdo. I might even thrive on it. It's my normal but I've come to the conclusion that others see me as weird and I happily accept the title. I gladly accept this award for myself and all the other bold people of the world who go and prance around outside the box. The box is small and boring and it couldn't contain all the awesome.

A sneak peek of this weeks entertainment and the IMATS haul:

So, I dress up for a makeup convention. I do so every year and this year I did a demon and I revisited my unicorn. I met some great people and watched some great seminars. I got to have lovely conversations with fabulous makeup artists. I also might have gotten a little bit of a makeup haul. Like tiny. I will use it wisely.

The photos that I took for these two days are of eight hours of wear with no touch ups. For the Demon I had lunch and the Unicorn dinner.

For the Demon Look I used:

Foundation: Kat Von D lock-it foundation in Light 44 mixed with Urban Decay Naked Skin Liquid Makeup 1.0.

Contour: Morphe Brushes 9BZ Palette.

Highlight: Make Up Forever Face Contour Kit 1 and Benefit Sunbeam.

Bronzer: Georgio Armani Fluid Sheer 3 and MAC Global Glow Mineralize Skinfinish.

Eyes:  MAC Eyeshadow x15 Warm Neutral in Amber Lights, Honey Lust and Brule overlayed with Make Up Forever Metal Powder 2 and 1.

Liner: Make Up Forever Graphic Liner.

Lashes: Make Up Forever Smoky Lash. And Make Up Forever Lashes.

Brows: Stila in the know palette colour in earth.

Lips: Jeffree Star Redrum overlayed with Make Up Forever Glitter N14

Wig: Powder Room D Flame Lace Front Wig.

Horns: Made by me!

For the Unicorn Look I used:

Primer: Make Up Forever Skin Equalizer Smoothing Primer.

Foundation: Kat Von D lock-it foundation in Light 44 mixed with Urban Decay Naked Skin Liquid Makeup 1.0.

Contour: Morphe Brushes 9BZ Palette.

Highlight: Make Up Forever Face Contour Kit 1 and Make Up Forever Star Powder 90944 and Jeffree Star Skin Frost Mint Condition.

Watercolours: Jordane Cosmetics Body Impressions Detailing Palette in Black Plum, Yellow and Taupe. Make Up Forver Flash Palette in Coral, Turquoise and Fuchsia.

Eyes:  Lime Crime Chinadoll Palette in Parasol, Goldfish and Jade-o-lade and Stila cosmetics Eyes Are The Window Shadow Palette Body in Aquamarine, Amethyst, and Rose Quartz and miscellaneous MAC shadows I forgot to label...

Liner: Elizabeth Mott Waterproof Liquid Eyeliner Glitterati.

Lashes: Make Up Forever Smoky Lash.

Brows: Stila in the know palette colour in earth.

Lips: Jeffree Star I'm Royalty and Too Faced Lip Injection Extreme.

Horn: Firefly Path on etsy

Video Game Classifications (Original): Alhambra Cortez Sera Glizequolt the 2nd

Yeah, her name is a mouthful. I always like to have one character that is a named after a older made up relative. It seems so delightfully pompous. This character is exactly that. Just not delightfully pompous but more egotistically pompous. And with good reason. She is the Paladin Commander of her Majesties elite military. She might be more of a highborn ass then the queen but she also has the skills to back it up.

I invented these characters in college. I think my first and second years? I just got sick of seeing scantily clad females running around in video games while the men got full armour. I thought well that's not much protection is it? So, I did up a video game classification list that included anything from knight to mage to summoner and so on. From there I did a male and female for each and tried to fit the classification as well as possible for images and characters. Alhambra was obviously my female Paladin.

"We protect the realm. We protect the Queen. When it's all said and done we'll be the ones standing." - Alhambra

She was actually a hard one to come up with. I know I wanted her blonde and blue eyed but I could never decide on her armour. She went through so many stages of armour design. The final result is reminiscent of the knight of flowers from Game of Thrones. Over the top and with so much pomp and flourish people think you're ridiculous. Until you stick a blade into them and then they really have nothing left to say.

I like inventing strong females. No matter their age they always have something that makes them strong. They all have weaknesses of course as everyone does and that's just good story telling. No one is omniscient. Characters like that have little substance to me. It's why I don't like Doctor Manhattan or Superman to a certain degree. It's boring and so far removed from humanity that it's incomprehensible unless you're a complete narcissist.

Story time!

"I may be a woman. That just means I'm stronger than you." - Alhambra

The castle cast a shadow over the buildings below. It was light and airy for such a monstrous structure. When the sun hit the stain glass windows just right rainbows danced along the walls. Alhambra grew up in the city below and became a knight at twenty-three. She took over the captaincy of the knight paladins at twenty-nine. She was the youngest commander in history.

People thought her inferior because she was a woman.

They tried to make the majesties paladins into a joke because it they were commanded by a mere woman. They turned to the knights of the city guard as the strongest armed force in the city. Garret Winter was a formidable man and leader of the knights guard. She did not fault him for the people’s good opinion.

Alhambra knew if it ever came to a fight she’d beat him. He was slow in his big armour. Everything about him was slow and powerful. She was fast. And with her spear she had the better reach. 

As she studied her maps she contemplated the idiotic ideas of men. How they could bow down to a queen but feel superior to all other women. It was no bother. She’d show them all.

All challengers be welcome. Come and take the city. If you can take the city guard. Come and storm the castle. Be brave and be bold.

Take your chance for the throne.

She’d mount their heads on pikes and walk calmly through the devastation.

Even if death came a knocking.

Knock, knock.

"Cut out your tongue. No one speaks to her majesty that way." - Alhambra

Products used:

Foundation: Kat Von D lock-it foundation in Light 44

Contour: Morphe Brushes 9BZ Palette

Highlight: Make Up Forever Face Contour Kit 1

Bronzer: Georgio Armani Fluid Sheer 3

Markings: Kat Von D Ink Liner Nerdrum overlayed with Stila Eyes Are The Window Shadow Palette Body in Sapphire.

Eyes:  MAC Eye Shadow x15 Warm Neutral in Gingersnap, Honey Lust, and Brule. Doucce Cosmetics Ultra Precision Eye Liner 005

Lashes: Make Up Forever Smoky Lash. And Red Cherry Lashes

Brows: Stila in the know palette colour in rain.

Lips: YSL Yolupte Tint-In-Oil 7 and Too Faced Lip Injection Extreme

Wig: Lacey Costume Wigs.

"When it's all said and done I'll be the one left standing. When this world crumbles and falls as all worlds do. I'll stand there and smile." - Alhambra

Wings of Darkness (Original): Hope

So, a bit of a spin this time for you to enjoy. And sorry for the absence. Had a visit from my mamma as well as a horrendous bout of illness/migraine/bad day spirals. So, yes, the spin! It's a bit of an original character kick. My mum picked out three of my original characters through the years and we're starting off with Hope. Hope was a character I created when I was eleven so some of the details are foggy. This was still when I was making characters for all my friends and classmates. So, yes there are a metric shit ton of them.

Hope was from the first character driven story I ever created called Wings of Darkness. No, that's not true... I used to draw paper dolls and I know there were characters there. Just nothing I ever want to remember. Let's say the first story of substance? Maybe. I leveled up my story telling anyway. As much as an eleven year old can have a wealth of character development. And I'm sorry, I forget which classmate it was. Apparently, someone who I thought was a badass. I'm literally trying to remember all the background on her from a rough character mock up that says:

"The horns weren't the only thing my parents tossed me for. I got these eyes here. Makes it easier for me to see red. You've got so much of it you see. About 1.3 gallons of the stuff. Paints the walls all pretty like." - Hope

Hope

Female

18

5'8

Weapon: Fists

Special Attributes: Beast mode

"I get dirty sometimes too. I even bleed the same colour. What makes me any different?" - Hope

That's what I have to go on. Go me and my excellent archival skills. I don't even have any old sketches anymore. They all met an unfortunate end at the bottom of my swimming pool. Except, the water creature character. I laughed so much at that while my mum scooped up paper remnants from the water totally crestfallen. So yes, there was an archival error for those years. Obvious the stories I tell now won't be like the ones I would have uttered as a youngster. So, enjoy the new and improved antiques.

I do endeavor to do my best. So, here it comes:

"No one takes a hit better then the downtrodden. We've been stepped on so much it doesn't even hurt anymore." - Hope

A demon.

A demon is what they called her. She knew what it was to wake up to darkness in the light. Her parents had left. In this town you threw away what wasn’t perfect. She learned that early on. If you looked different, talked different, acted different you were cast to the shadows. That doesn’t mean that you’d be ignored. She remembers the blood and the bruising from the stoning the people who would have been called peers had delivered on her. It burnt the memories of spittle and derogatory narratives from contemptuous adults. She had been a thin little thing and she broke so easily. She always knew she’d bleed out on the street. There wasn’t a sanctuary for demons after all. It was a joke that the only thing her parents left her with was a name.

Hope.

What a crock of shit.

So, you’re born with some horns.

Who the fuck cares.

She grew up.

Surprisingly.

She grew up strong too. There were the odd scars and marks but they didn’t bother her. You get pretty proud of battle scars. She fought now. Her fists were her trade. You needed someone’s teeth knocked in, a possible facial realignment, and the odd vermin extermination. Post it on the board. She’ll find you.

And good luck to you then motherfuckers.

"Say what you want about these horns. I've lived with these things my whole life. I think they're kinda pretty. They really accent my head." - Hope

Products used:

Foundation: Kat Von D lock-it foundation in Light 44

Contour: Morphe Brushes 9BZ Palette

Highlight: Make Up Forever Face Contour Kit 1

Eyes: Stila Eyes Are The Window Shadow Palette Body in Garnet, Midnight Quartz, Pink Diamond, Rose Quartz, and Moonstone.

Lashes: Make Up Forever Smoky Lash.

Brows: Stila in the know palette colour in rain.

Lips: Fresh Cosmetics Sugar Cherry Shine Lip Treatment

Scar: Kryolan Collodion and coloured with Kryolan Body Illustration Palette in 080 mixed with Lake.

Bruising: Kryolan Supracolor CFX Mini Palette All the bruise colours.

Blood: Cinema Secrets FX Blood and Ben Nye Fresh Scab

Wig: Lacey Costume Wigs.

Contacts: Tiger by 9mmsfx contacts

"Oh my, was that a love tap? Trying to tell me something? My skulls a little thick. You'll need to try harder." - Hope

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: April O'Neil

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

Heroes in the half shell

Turtle Power!

Sorry, not sorry for that. It's a childhood memory song. As soon as I realized I'd be doing TMNT I knew I'd be humming or singing it whenever I thought of it. The only thing that has ever topped childhood songs is fairly offensive comedy songs. Stephen Lynch proves a rather hard habit to break for literally everything I know. Everything.

"Why don't I ever dream of Harrison Ford?" - April O'Neil

Why April O'Neil? Cause she's a strong, independent woman who need no man. I definitely wasn't thinking that at a young age. Especially since the starting run of the animated series started in 1987. I would have been six or seven when the show ended not including reruns and the like. What I was thinking at that age was more along the lines of 'Yay! Ninja Turtles and there's a lady who helps them and an awesome man in a hockey mask!' Later, I would start thinking that's a lady who suspended some disbelief at the prospect of man sized talking, fighting turtles and would do almost anything for a story. And she's a redhead. I'd like anyone who is a red head. Sorry Megan Fox, your just not cutting it for April. The hair matters.

"So, what do you guys like on your pizza?" - April O'Neil

I like to always portray my women as powerfully as possible. Whether they're a journalist or a hero, a villain or a fish.  Everyone has the power and the drive to be strong. You don't get your strength by any particular thing. Being a hero doesn't make you strong. It's something inside you that you have or can find. I want you to know that you have it in you whatever the situation be it verbal or physical. Or both. You can have muscles and you can speak out. Don't let anyone or anything hold you back. You can be you. You completely without being scared of what people might say. That one's sometimes the hardest.

I want you to know that I've got your back.

"I'm not sure I understood all of that, Chief Sterns. Would you mind repeating it, in English, perhaps?" - April O'Neil

I would like to send out a heartfelt thank you to Hunter & Hare. To anyone who lives in Vancouver or is visiting Vancouver it's a delightful consignment store on 334 W Pender St, Vancouver. Please go visit. The co-owners are wonderful, charming people and it's just such a great environment. Thank you for always being helpful to me and my wild ideas.

"And then there's Casey Jones, a nine-year-old trapped in a man's body. He might be cute except for that pigheadedness..." - April O'Neil

Products used:

Primer: Make Up Forever Skin Equalizer Smoothing Primer.

Foundation: Make Up Forever Invisible Cover Stick Foundation 115=R230.

Contour: Morphe Brushes 9BZ Palette.

Highlight: MAC Mineralize Skinfinish Global Glow.

Bronzer: Tarte Amazonian Clay Waterproof Bronzer in Park Ave Princess

Blush: City Color Be Matte Blush in Fresh Melon.

Eyes: MAC Eye Shadow x 15 Warm Neutral Palette in Divine Decadence, Butterfudge, Creative Copper, Lemon Tart and Brule

Lashes: Make Up Forever Smoky Lash.

Brows: Stila in the know palette colour in rain.

Lips: L'oreal Matte Bisque 082 topped with Tini Beauty Shadow Tint in Ambrosia.

Wig: Lacey of New York

Clothes: Borrowed from Hunter & Hare Consignment at 334 West Pender, St Vancouver.

"You don't mean - you're not seriously suggesting that Donatello is going to make an incredibly arcane time travel machine, are you?" - April O'Neil

Finding Dory: Dory and Hank

I remember seeing Finding Nemo in theatres in 2003. So, 13 years ago. Meaning almost half my life ago Finding Nemo hit the world with ground breaking animation from Pixar. Now, the people who watched the original could be taking their kids to see the sequel or just going to watch it as adults with friends cause that's how I roll.

It was a brave undertaking but they made it so well. The coral and sea life was gorgeous. The colours and movement and texture was fantastic. I'm looking forward to the improvements. Also, above all else the return of Gill.

"I'm sorry. I gotta blink. How do you hold your eyes open that long?" - Dory

Yeah, that fish tank was full of moments. Lovely, lovely moments.

Sharkbait! Hoo ha-ha!

I'd talk about fish but the only experiences I have are fishing related and the suicidal goldfish of my youth. The giant tail I saw in Lake Ontario that made me stop fishing out of fright in elementary school. My utter fear of stingrays which is closely related to my rule of if I can't see bottom I'm not going in. Any one who knows me knows that rule goes out the window almost immediately. So, I've most definitely stood on some stingrays before. Or been followed by them. 

Hank the cantankerous octopus

Ooh, that time I caught a goldfish in lake Erie. Or the skull I found while looking for seashells. Definitely a big fish. I thought I should clarify just in case.

Anyway, I have always been fascinated by animals and all matter of sea life. There is just so much mystery and variety in the creatures that roam the oceans and seas. It's a completely different world and I don't think we'll ever be done discovering it as long as we can preserve it.

"I shall call him Squishy and he shall be mine and he shall be my Squishy Come on, Squishy Come on, little Squishy..." - Dory

I decided of course this go around to do Dory. Of course. Main character of this one after all and she is one truly optimistic little fish. As well as the new character Hank the cantankerous octopus. Mostly because octopuses are intelligent, crafty, bad asses and I love them.

So without further ado and hoping they might inspire your heuristic tendencies. The looks of the week.

"I suffer from short-term memory loss. It runs in my family... At least I think it does... hm. Where *are* they?" - Dory

Products used for Dory:

Primer: Make Up Forever Skin Equalizer Smoothing Primer

Foundation: Make Up Forever Invisible Cover Stick Foundation 115=R230.

Highlight: MAC Mineralize Skinfinish in Lightscapade.

Blush: City Color Be Matte Blush in Fresh Melon.

Eyes: Naked Cosmetics in #HE-06 and #EB-02 Stila Cosmetics Eyes Are The Window Shadow Palette in aquamarine and Morphe Brushes Eyeshadow Palette 35E.

Lashes: Make Up Forever Smoky Lash. As well as some Red Cherry Lashes

Brow Shape thing: Make Up Forever Flash Palette in Black 011

Lips: Jeffree Star Blue Velvet overlayed with Morphe Brushes Eyeshadow Palette 35E

Details: Make Up Forever Aqua Black and Graphic Liner

Clothes: Borrowed from Hunter & Hare Consignment at 334 West Pender, St Vancouver.

The ocean is full of surprises.

Products used for Hank:

Foundation: Kat Von D lock-it foundation in Light 44.

Contour: Morphe Brushes 9BZ Palette.

Highlight: MAC Mineralize Skinfinish in Lightscapade.

Blush: Nars Deep Throat Blush.

Eyes: Stila Cosmetics in the know Palette in fire Morphe Brushes Eyeshadow Palette 35E.

Lashes: Make Up Forever Smoky Lash.

Tentacle: Make Up Forever Aqua Black and Graphic Liner as well as Stila Cosmetics in the know Palette in fire, earth, and rain.

Lips: Nars Cinematic Lipstick in Short Circuit

Wig: Powder Room D Flame Lace Front Wig.

"How about we play a game?" - Dory

Stay tuned. More make up to come!

Alice in Wonderland: The Mad Hatter

"The time has come," the Walrus said,
"To talk of many things:
Of shoes--and ships--and sealing-wax--
Of cabbages--and kings--
And why the sea is boiling hot--
And whether pigs have wings." - Lewis Carroll

"There is a place, like no place on earth. A land full of wonder, mystery, and danger. Some say, to survive it, you need to be as mad as a hatter. Which, luckily, I am." - The Mad Hatter

I'd like to think that a lot of who I am is based on the Mad Hatter. My uncontrollable love of tea. My absolute need for my very weird tea kettle. There is no practical electric kettle in this household. No siree. My need to be myself and my joy on the reaction of others on how much of myself I am. I strive on not being 'normal' but hilariously it's normal to me. I couldn't see myself any other way. I'm really glad that I'm a weirdo.

It really takes a lot of courage to be yourself even in this day and age. I just got blue hair a week and some change ago and got asked to do a modelling job for Armani. I told them my hair was blue now and that I could do it up all fancy like. It's just hair. I haven't heard back yet. I'll let you know.

"Trust me. I know a thing or two about liking people, and in time, after much chocolate and cream cake, 'like' turns into 'what was his name again?'." - Mad Hatter

There's not a day that goes by where I can walk out the door and see the vast majority of people who look exactly the same. The world is full of trends whether it be beauty or fashion or lifestyle and everyone gets so caught up in it. And if you like it and that's who you are all the power to you. I'd never want to take away the happiness of others or the comfort that they have in their own skin. I'm just saying if that's not you have courage and just go for it. There is nothing more beautiful then seeing a smile on someones face when they love who they are.

To give you an idea of who I am. If this blog hasn't already given away that much. I'm a twenty-seven year old woman with bright blue hair and undercuts. I wear dresses and skirts in the summer because I really loathe pants. On some occasions I leave the house with a unicorn horn. If I run out of time like yesterday when I borrowed the clothes for this shoot. I go and drop them off looking like the Mad Hatter. I freak people out sometimes but mostly I get smiles and pictures taken of me and I've made someones day. And really that's a wonderful thing. If my 'weirdness' can turn someones day a little brighter I'm very happy to be me.

"Have you any idea why a raven is like a writing desk?" - Mad Hatter

When I was younger I was asked, if you could be anyone in the world who would you be? I sat there forever and I really didn't know how to answer. I felt really uncomfortable with the question. At the time I wasn't completely me. It was high school and I think the majority of people are trying to find themselves. It took me until I moved away from home all the way across the country when I become much more muchier. I think my answer back then should have been me but more. It should never be someone else. Everyone has something amazing to offer and you debilitate yourself by wanting to be someone else. I want to be me in all my ridiculous glory with all my faults and troubles and all my talents and aspirations.

So, a tip of the hat to all of you. Have courage today and do something completely you. Be free and open to a complete metanoia. Let your spirit soar in transformation. Become the butterfly you were always meant to be.

"Of course not. This is an unbirthday party." - Mad Hatter

Products used:

Foundation: Kat Von D lock-it foundation in Light 44 and MAC Face and Body Foundation in White AC3.

Contour: City Color Be Matte Blush in Fresh Melon.

Highlight: MAC Mineralize Skinfinish in Lightscapade.

Blush: Nars Deep Throat Blush.

Eyes: Morphe Brushes Eyeshadow Palette 35E and some MAC shadows I never labelled before I depotted them. Probably limited edition. I think one was from Heatherette...

Lashes: MAC Lash Mixing Medium mixed with Morphe Brushes Eyeshadow Palette 35E. As Well as, Make Up Forever Artistic Lashes 110 and Lash Show C-807.

Brows: MAC Lash Mixing Medium mixed with MAC Eyeshadow in Rule.

Lips: Jeffree Star Hoe Hoe Hoe overlayed with Naked Cosmetics in #HE-02.

Wig: Powder Room D Flame Lace Front Wig.

Clothes: Borrowed from Hunter & Hare Consignment at 334 West Pender, St Vancouver.

Cup and Chair: L'Atelier Home on 452 West Cordova St, Vancouver.

Book: Of course my copy of Alice in Wonderland.

"Yes, that's it! It's always tea time." - Mad Hatter

Alice in Wonderland: The Blue Caterpillar

So far, everything that I've posted has been influenced by close family. I guess I can give some credit to early childhood fairy tales and Disney but I never watched Alice in Wonderland as a child nor did I hear of the book. I've always been interested in fairy tales and have read a staggering amount of them but it wasn't until I was in high school that I read Alice in Wonderland.

There is so much imagination crammed into Alice in Wonderland that is so hard to find. See, I love to read. There's really not a day that goes by where I don't read at least twenty pages of something or other whether it be book, or magazine, comic, or dare I say it fanfiction. Sorry, not sorry. Every time I open a book though it's like jumping into another world. And every time I finish a single novel or series it's always like saying goodbye to dear friends. There are very few books that transport me to such a topsy-turvy fantastical place where everything is just a step to the left and a little bit backwards and yet resonates on such a profound level in my soul.

I can't say that the only exposure to Alice was the book and the first time I read it. Though it meant much more to me after I did. My Mum's favourite song is 'White Rabbit' by Jefferson Airplane and written by Grace Slick. If you haven't heard it, it is a psychedelic wonder to the senses and it is a beautiful journey to be on.

I guess my Mum did introduce me to Alice indirectly. I should probably return the favour by letting her borrow the book. We can both be the influences this time.

Anyway, the blue caterpillar or Absolem in the films is a hookah smoking caterpillar of profound wisdom and sight. With a shocking vocabulary for one so small. But that's the joy of Alice. Great things come in any size and from any place.

I want to do something a little different for this post because Alice in Wonderland has had such a drastic impact on my life and who I am now. So let's do this I guess:

It was with great pleasure and a bit of remorse that the caterpillar awoke for the day because there is a great many adventures that can happen during a day but also a question of what may come of dreams. And of course caterpillar do dream.

Don’t be silly.

Caterpillars dream of the sky and flying. Of reaching heights they’ve never known and seeing if the sky is really that blue. The caterpillar wondered if the sky was as blue as it was. Of course if a caterpillar can dream it can also think and this particular caterpillar was very wise.

It had much to say on daily events. Creatures came from far and wide to hear its great wisdom. They just had to beware the smoke. For a hookah smoking caterpillar said a lot more than a regular blue caterpillar. And he had quite a bit to say.

Today, he would have a surprising adventure. Today, he would meet a three inch tall, pink skinned, little thing in blue garments. And he definitely had quite a bit to say. The most important being:

“Who are you?”

Products used:

Foundation: Kat Von D lock-it foundation in Light 44.

Contour: Make Up Forever Artist Shadow Palette ME-230 and Stila Eyes Are The Window Shadow Palette Sapphire.

Highlight: Make Up Forever Star Powder 90944.

Blush: Make Up Forever Artist Shadow Palette D-236.

Eyes: Make Up Forever Artist Palette ME-230 and D-236 Stila Eyes Are The Window Shadow Palette Sapphire, Aquamarine, and Moonstone.

Lashes: Make Up Forever Smoky Lash.

Brows: Make Up Forever Artist Shadow Palette ME-230 mixed with MAC Lash Mixing Medium.

Lips: Jeffree Star Blue Velvet mixed with Jawbreaker and Druglord topped with Make Up Forever Star Powder 90944.

Who Are You?

X-Men Apocalypse: Psylocke

There's a story on why Psylocke is a character close to my heart. She wasn't prevalent in any of the cartoons I watched and it took me until my teen years to get into the comics. Plus, it's really hard to start something when it was started in 1963 and I'm a person who needs to begin at the start. You should have seen my disappointment at Doctor Who. But that's a story for another time.

When everyone my age was collecting Pokemon cards and I had no money for them so I drew my own like a little weirdo. My brother had just started getting into Overpower cards with his friends. Now I can bring up Overpower cards to ninety percent of the people I know and they'll have no idea what I'm talking about. To the ones that do a very merry cheers to you friend. Come and lets talk about this small joy of the universe. No, for real. Let's talk.

So, to the people who don't know, Overpower cards were comic based cards and there were actual tournaments that took place so it was a legit card game. Most of what I learned about characters started with these cards. My brother taught me how to play and I was soon hooked but what really got me was all the characters. I'd go through the binders of cards to "build my deck" when in reality I was looking at the art on the cards and getting fascinated by certain characters. One of them was Psylocke. It was one of those love at first sight for the absolute aesthetics of her.

Of course, I had to learn all about her. Elizabeth "Betsy" Braddock a.k.a Psylocke has quite the story behind her. What got to me when I was younger was that she had been "bodyswapped" into the badass ninja-esque body that I'd fallen in love with. And she's stuck there. Her previous body was dead. Talk about body dysmorphic disorder. It always made me sad to think about but it's not like any story comic wise has a pleasant history.

To be completely honest i don't know why she's in the movie. She seems like a huge filler character with no plot whatsoever. She's really cool looking and that's it. I hope people who see the movie actually take the time to read up on her and not just think she's cool looking. There's too much awesome behind those looks to let it go overlooked.

Without further ado let's get to this fard.

Products used:

Foundation: Kat Von D lock-it foundation in Light 44

Contour: Morphe Brushes 9BZ Palette

Highlight: Make Up Forever Face Contour Kit 1

Blush: Nars Deep Throat

Eyes: Morphe Brushes Palette 35E Stila Eyes Are The Window Shadow Palette in Amethyst and moonstone as well as Make Up Forever Aquaseal for the liner.

Lashes: Make Up Forever Smoky Lash.

Brows: Stila in the know palette colour in rain.

Lips: Jeffree Star I'm Royalty with Morphe Brushes Palette 35E Shadows

Up Next: Alice in Wonderland. If you have any suggestions for future themes or just want to geek out with me hit me up with a comment or e-mail me at artistry@nicoletessela.com

X-Men Apocalypse: Mystique

This is probably my great big start into geek culture. Well, X-Men the animated series in the 90s. It was my introduction via my older brother that quickly spiraled into a massive accumulation that probably now scares him. But yeah, this is what shaped me as a person. X-Men cartoons, my brother, and that geek spiral. I've gone through it all. None of the genres have been safe.

The Age of Apocalypse was always quite frankly the most doomed of the timelines. The amount of possible destruction done by one man and the overwhelming fear that it triggered in humanity was catastrophic. Every new X-Men movie that was announced my brother would turn to me and say "it better be Apocalypse". 

It finally happened! Please don't screw it up. It's a cherished childhood memory you could be ruining!

I think in a few months time I'm going to be amazed at how many characters are blue. There were four looks for this movie I could have chosen from that were blue. This time votes were in for me to do a Mystique look. The answer was of course I'm doing Mystique. She's practically who I am with her ever morphing features.

I was a little upset with her look in X-Men Days of Future Past. The character was done entirely different then all the other movies. Even First Class. The look was so much less satisfactory. I haven't been watching the Apocalypse trailers that closely because they always add in something that gives the plot away.

I'm a big fan of comic book Mystique. The movie version just can't match up. There's just so much backstory that makes her amazing and in the movies all you really get is a brief glimpse. So, the inspiration for this look was more based on the comics with a little addition from the movies.

Products used:

Foundation? How I got my skin this shade: Kat Von D lock-it foundation in Light 44 mixed with Make Up Forever Flash Palette Turquoise 000 as well as Kryolan Rubber Mask grease Paint in 091

Contour: Naked Cosmetics #HE-06 and Kryolan Aqua

Highlight: Stila Cosmetics Eyes Are The Window Shadow Palette Aquamarine

Eyes: Make Up Forever Artist Shadow Palette ME-930 I-918 as well as Kryolan Aqua

Lashes: Make Up Forever Smoky Lash.

Brows: Make Up Forever Artist Shadow Palette ME-930

Lips: Jeffree Star in Redrum

Keep an eye out for the next mutant look later this week.

Captain America Civil War: Iron Man

First off, sorry for how long this took. I had quite the illness I had to get over that put me back a few paces. All is well again. So without further ado, I present you with "Tonya Stark" aka Iron Man. The genderbending continues on this weeks installment of Civil War with the woman of red and gold.

I'm never going to have the absolute charisma of Robert Downey Jr and how he is most definitely Tony Stark in real life. I don't think anyone can deny that. I tried to bring a little of the movie into this look. The more emotional side mind not the battle hardened side. If you haven't seen the movie yet I can highly recommend it. I promise not to give any spoilers. And if I do, well be sure to unfollow me on any platform because that is complete and utter blasphemy.

I wanted to bring this look back to Tony's roots. In his lab making robots all covered in grease and dirt being a genius. And he's working so hard to just not think about anything that plagues him by putting all his efforts into manual labour.

It's a look into a Tony who has lost so much but is at that place where he has to be strong. To hide all of himself behind sarcasm and jokes a very thin veneer to mask his heart and vulnerability. Hopefully I conveyed that if only just a little bit.

Products used:

Foundation: Kat Von D lock-it foundation in Light 44

Contour: Morphe Brushes 9BZ Palette

Highlight: Make Up Forever Face Contour Kit 1

Blush: Nars Deep Throat

Bronzer: MAC Global Glow Mineralize Skinfinish

Eyes: Stila in the know palette in ebony as well as Doucce Cosmetics ultra precision eyeliner 500

Lashes: Make Up Forever Smoky Lash.

Brows: Stila in the know palette colour in earth.

Lips: Jeffree Star in Posh Spice

Wig: Lacey Costume Wigs

Arc Reactor: Think Geek. It's a coaster.

Next week, technically this weeks theme is X-Men. Stay Tuned for some mutants. If you have any requests do please email me at artistry@nicoletessela.com.

Captain America Civil War: "Stephanie" Rogers

Welcome to week two. Captain America Civil War. I'll be making some interesting choices this week as there's not many woman I can portray. So, sit back and enjoy a week of genderbending.

I've been waiting for this moment. I enjoy the Captain America movies (well mostly all superhero movies with some noted exceptions) and this one looks epic. Marvel is really stepping up the game to a beautifully large collaboration. It kinda reminds me of those huge Marvel character spreads that were Where's Waldo like in character intensity. 

We all know what happens in the comics. At least I hope we do. Spoilers: I'm not going to tell you. Let's just hope that the movie deviates a little for some mystery. I know some people get annoyed when movies take creative license from subjects that they love but if you know everything that's coming how exciting would it really be? I like to think of it as having two separate mediums you can enjoy. Sometimes more!

I decided to bring Captain America back to the 40s and make him a woman. I drew inspiration from the time period and one Peggy Carter. It was a very fun experiment turning a morally upright man into a confident lady.

Products used:

Foundation: Kat Von D lock-it foundation in Light 44

Contour: Morphe Brushes 9BZ Palette

Highlight: Make Up Forever Face Contour Kit 1

Blush: Nars Deep Throat

Bronzer: MAC Global Glow Mineralize Skinfinish

Eyes: Stila in the know palette earth, desert, wind, air. MAC warm neutral warm breeze and gingersnap. Elizabeth Mott Glitterati liquid eyeliner

Lashes: Make Up Forever Smoky Lash. Red Cherry Lashes.

Brows: Stila in the know palette colour in rain.

Lips: Jeffree Star in Hoe Hoe Hoe

Wig: Lacey Costume Wigs

Necklace: My mom made it

Fascinator: Made by me.

The Captain America shield fascinator is one of the gifts at the end of the month so if it's something that you want email or comment me.